The columns of Saqqara's Great Hall - Egypt with AKIA logo

Understanding mental & Emotional Dysfunctions

  • Introduction
  • Common types of manifestations
  • Impact on daily life and overall wellbeing
  • Importance of addressing these dysfunctions
  • Conclusion

“God, give me the serenity

to accept the things, I cannot change.

Courage, to change the things I can,

And wisdom always to see the difference.” 

The origin of this wisdom is not clearly known. It has been in circulation for hundreds of years. My earliest encounter with a similar concept was through an ancient Egyptian script, dating back around 4 thousand years.

Nevertheless, its best-known appearance was on the wall of the main character in Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5. Check it out, if you have the chance. Both the film and book are amazing. Here is the link to the book  

These 2 sentences are special keys to Knowledge. I have them on the wall in the study as a reminder. After all, I am a human being too, and my life is just as challenging.


Common types and manifestations

My thirty years of publishing, educating and coaching experience convinced me that the vast majority of earthlings do not understand life. It comes from the fact that the beginning of the journey is covered with all kinds of mysterious layers. The biggest mistake of earthlings is to focus on the end of the road, the aim, and short of proper comprehension of the starting point. Without beginning there is no road, only hovering and floating in a self-appointed bubble that brings false justification for existence.

Having said that, the beginning is the hardest to clarify, for humanity puts gap-filling layers on everything it touches, most of which stay there and by time, amalgamate into the core and used instantaneously as valid points in history, spirituality and knowledge. This action usually overrides all possible arguments or clarifications that emerge at a later stage.

Life is full of Catch-22-s. In the subject of mental and emotional dysfunctions the deadliest trap is the family.

The Family

A family is a group of people held together by expectations, roleplay, and fear. A family doesn’t need to have blood relations. The DNA connection only applies to the physical body of a human being and sits in the minds of those who are stuck on the limited plane of reality.

The family is life’s biggest playground, where members continue or start learning the interrelations of events. It is the place for not only mental but also emotional development: the beginning of the journey towards emotional intelligence.

The family is the smallest nucleus in human society and serves as an imaginary shield against the biggest enemy of mankind: fear. It also serves as an easily manipulated unit in capitalist money-making schemes. 

Fear comes from a lack of knowledge or information. They fear the dark because they cannot see what is there, and do not have the working ability to use other senses. The fear of water comes from not being able to swim well enough to conquer its power. The fear in an abusive relationship mirrors the incapacity of leaving the environment. These are examples of the lack of trust in the Self that is a major issue in the matrix of the family structure.

The primary duty of the parents is to plant the understanding of responsibility into the minds of their children and cultivate their confidence and capabilities to conquer life’s challenges. If a grownup person – I would say around 21 years of age in today’s civilization – doesn’t have a strong enough desire to fly out of the nest and set up existence on their own, life would become more and more diluted and slowly fades away; unless an outside influence opens a gate towards conscious living. It also shows a lack of consistency in parenting skills.

However, parenting and the role of a family have been distorted by belief systems and society. The parenting skills taught or picked up are not fit for earthlings.  

From the universe, earthlings have their own mission to complete, and the soul aspect of them brings in different knowledge and understanding. This aspect is far more important than fitting into man-made rules and regulations which is the basic requirement of living in a society. This twist is usually seen as a mental dysfunction and it develops into an emotional chaos.

Family relations are the foundations of emotional & mental dysfunction.

Impact on daily life and overall well-being


The greatest impact of being different, brings in insecurity that actually furthers fear, and is eventually looked at as mental or emotional dysfunction.

Insecurity is an illusion. It is the picture created in your mind about the perception of others concerning your qualities. It is the fear of being figured out. The dread of not being perfect.

Although perfection is a relative term of understanding, the media is pushing humanity towards owning up to ever more flaws and spending money on trying to correct them, or the medication to surpass the anxiety caused. Earthlings are consciously pushed to their limits by the power struggle of pharmaceutical companies and their agents in modern medicine.    

It means that publications convey the message of imperfection and the possibilities to remedy it with the help of money. However, this action leads to further uncertainty about the skills to produce more of the new almighty, and the most lethal Catch-22 of earthy existence is formed. The only way out of this trap is through learning.

This concept raises the decisive question: What is it we need to learn? The answer is: that we need to understand the self and humanity with it. We need to realize that comprehending life is not an option but an essential ingredient of existence. The one thing we need to conquer on the way is insecurity.              

The level of insecurity mirrors the mental and emotional intelligence of the bearer hence, emphasises the lack of information on the mind and the psychological structure of the human race. Without this knowledge, the barrier between the changeable and unchangeable disappears paving the road towards years of struggle with wasted energies.          

Insecurity is one of those fashionable floating feelings that could easily engulf you if not stopped on time. In today’s society, we insure the insurance that seemingly protects the house or car we might not even own.

Think about it! If life and your parents teach you well, by the time you become an adult legally, apart from enabling you to buy and consume alcohol at a public place, you collect enough mental and emotional intelligence to take on a paid job. It is the first step towards adulthood, regardless of what you have in your mind and what your parents tell you. They might want you to stick around to fulfill their needs of belonging and achievement. It is especially true with mothers, whose life’s purpose stopped at having children and who cannot deal with the fact of them leaving the nest. Or they change the course of their children’s lives by saying that you should find your dream job first. Well, it is a dangerous path for many reasons.

Who will decide what your dream job is? Although your parents say they know better, they don’t. It is an assumption rather than a fact, for everybody’s experience is unique, and tailored to the individual needs of the human being. Unless they are oracles, there is not much chance of seeing your life path and understanding the ways to approach it.

They might convince you that want to spare you heartache and struggle, and the word security enters the conversation. When it appears, it is like a bug in the ear; keeps buzzing until drastically removed by operation. However, the aftermath sensation stays for long. Years later, when you are still searching for the perfect employment, your parents have lost the initial enthusiasm to keep you around. However, while waiting, life passed you by and your CV doesn’t have enough entry to be used as a passport to a favored employment.

With this chain of events, you’ve arrived at a breaking point in your life. It is time to cut your losses and start anew. Or simply start. Nevertheless, your initial enthusiasm for an independent life is now flattened, your parents are not nearly as supportive as they were at the time of keeping you at home, and since you haven’t experienced much, your courage has faded. You see life as an engulfing mystery that eats you up and spits you out. It is time to understand that you have choices. It is also time to find out what these choices are.

  • You seek professional help, assess your abilities, build up your courage, and make a tangible plan to break away on your own. I need to emphasize that it is essential to find valuable assistance. Without it, you are just spending money and energy.
  • This is the choice when you are just wasting yourself. Although you look for professional help, instead of working towards your freedom, you blame life, fate, or whatever you prefer to call it, along with your difficult childhood, your parents, your education, and the misfortune of being born into your background. This attitude takes you to a professional with textbook knowledge who partners with you in the finger-pointing and willingly supports your attitude. The aim of the never-ending string therapy sessions becomes the how to bear this cross rather than easing the burden and making life more joyous.

It is like being buried alive. Due to self-pity, you fall prey to your lack of courage or limited willingness, and instead of changing your life, you start raising your voice in order to gain justification and sympathy for your newly gained victim status. In the end your insecurity might ease, for you will not feel alone anymore however, life will pass you by while getting cozy in your bubble.

  • The third option is to give in completely, succumb to medication, and let yourself be declared mentally dysfunctional.

There are also traditions and religions to talk about. The insecurity we gain from religious beliefs would lead us to become part of the global mass consciousness when we follow ideas without questioning them. We believe that they are a follower of the truth. Yes, but what is truth? And whose truth is truer?

Truth is also an illusion, for it is different for everybody. It is the mirror of the intelligence, experience, and belief system of the individual or group of people concerned. Bear in mind the fact that we do not actually see what is really there. The eye initially absorbs the rays of light reflected from the object or subject and sends an impulse to the Conscious and the Subconscious at the same time, waiting for their agreement to create a picture considered the Truth by the owner.

We also need to touch upon the subject of spirituality. It is again a belief that spirituality comes with religion and they embrace it. I would like to shed some light on the fundamental difference between the two.  

Religion glorifies qualities unattainable for you, while spirituality shows you the path to becoming one with the creator force.          

The belief system is changeable by experience, knowledge, openness, and tolerance. I am convinced that creating your own private consciousness would raise the quality of life, and you could look upon Earth as Heaven.

I am certain, that many of you find my words harsh, even abrupt from time to time. Nevertheless, I am here to help you and not to agree with you. Clarity can only come from naked truth. I also want to push you out of your comfort zone to refresh your thoughts and gain the necessary courage to elevate your life to the love affair you deserve.

My final note on insecurity is that it comes from within. Regardless of what others think or say, if you do not believe in your capabilities and values, it will haunt you until you do.

Perfection is manmade and relative. There is no human being without flaws and merits.

Importance of addressing these dysfunctions


It is safe to state that love is life for love cannot stop. It is also unconditional, therefore emotionless and neutral.

Loving doesn’t mean that you cannot get angry or sad. It means that love doesn’t stop just because you are angry. It is always there, running in the background, and keeps you on the path.

This behavior is only possible if you love yourself. There are many courses that teach you all kinds of methods of loving the self nevertheless, it is very simple really.

You look at yourself as a unique and valuable creation of the universe who is there to add to the constant motion of life in whatever way possible. Here I could say that you love your flaws and merits however, in unconditional love, there are no flaws and merits. Only earthlings who give their 100% at every given moment.

This approach would present you with certain difficulties, for human beings tend to look at the self through the eyes of others. Therefore, it is easier to fall back into the judgemental category rather than rise above it all. The lack of intelligence in others would awaken the doubts in your understanding that are sleeping in the back of your mind. Questions such as What if I wasn’t good enough?, What if I wasn’t beautiful enough?, what if I wasn’t clever enough? would rapidly emerge, and ruin the concept you built. Your life will be destroyed in the process if you are not careful.

Bring in question time! Grab a pen and paper and write the pros and contras on it. When finished, go through the list once again. The aim is always going forward and not falling back therefore, the focus should be on working the contras.

Although you cannot force others to alter their understanding of life but you can gradually turn them towards learning more. And it is a huge achievement. How do you do that?

First of all, you shouldn’t project your doubts about your self-value out for others to see. It shows weakness and vulnerability and the sharks follow blood. It is easier to inflict a wound on the already hurt. And by doing it satisfaction of righteousness is built.

Secondly, you have to carry the joy of life with you. Many would find your attitude annoying in the beginning but persistence will achieve gradual admiration, for it takes courage to do it.

Your life is solely yours. Be proud of it and live it for yourself. It doesn’t mean that you cannot partner up or create a family, however, you should never force yourself into something you are not comfortable with in order to please others.

Remember: “Life is an elevated, conscious state of existence” (Conscious Togetherness by Zsa Zsa Tudos)

“By learning, you remember your knowledge;

With practice it becomes experience

© Zsa Zsa Tudos 2nd of November 2023

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Zsa Zsa Tudos - AKIA Philosophy

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